Being Pagan on Stolen Indigenous Lands (2 years later)
Series on Irish Paganism in America
In 2021, I wrote a three-part series trying to unpack what it means to be pagan in a country that is colonised. The series was an effort to help me deconstruct the vows I took as a dedicant priest. Now, here we are two years later, and it is time to come clean: I resigned.
November 2nd, 2019, I took public vows to serve the capital-region community of New York State for a trial period of a year until full ordination. November 2nd, 2020, I hesitantly renewed those vows after filing a 62-page formal systemic complaint in April 2020, and on May 17th, 2021; I officially resigned.
I resigned for many reasons, but the biggest was the refusal to hold a healing justice mediation from systemic issues that impeded the fulfillment of my vows. These systemic issues included: disrespect, uncooperation, neglect, emotional manipulation levied not only at myself but other clergy-members, and organisational habits/norms rooted in white supremacy dominance.
What organisational habits and norms were those? According to the Whiteness at Work intensive I took in 2019 with The Adaway Group: Defensiveness, lack of codification, hidden power with a fuzzy organisation chart, not being comfortable with being uncomfortable, invisible experiences, resentment and passive aggression — all brought on by a lack of accountability, lack of organisation of records, lack of transparency, lack of open communication, and lack of care for antiracism.
I share this all now whilst not naming the organisation or members because just like what I said then, I acknowledge the humanity of all parties involved, as well as their capacity to transform their behaviours — and also acknowledge the amazing people still there trying to change it from within.
But that’s my trauma. That’s my share. It’s been almost two years now since I resigned and started unpacking a lot of things. Boxes mostly. But also, in hours of therapy; with someone who specialises in PTSD, I unboxed the pain of spiritual abuse. Something that some of you successfully read-into the articles that followed. (Especially my Debunking Elen of the Ways piece, which still remains my most read and viewed article to date).
So, where are we now? Two-years into the future, where do i stand on the questions I posed in that three-part series?
Part 1: Relationships with Land
Land is still sovereign and alive… and so are the rivers, waters, and everything else.
In Part 1, I really layed the groundwork for the whole series, but putting all that theory into practice for me now looks very different and specific. In “Moving Away from the Wandering Fool in Neopaganism” I really highlight what I have done to get to know the land on which I colonise, and attempt to make amends. All relationships have to involve truth-sharing, reciprocity, and the capacity for reparations/rematriations: the land is no different.
These lands and waters and skies have memories, stories, histories, languages, wants and needs… just like the rest of us do. Indigenous people have known this since the beginning, and we must find ways to work in solidarity with Indigenous knowledge keepers and protectors. And we must give back to the lands and waters whilst we help protect them from ongoing rampant exploitation.
Ideas: remember that you are always a guest so act accordingly, asking land/water spirits *PRIOR* to building/moving/offering anything, bioremediation, native microbials, composting, landscaping & gardening with native plants, song, prevent polluted runoff, rematriation of land& water rights back to Indigenous stewards, and hiring Indigenous environmental consulting firms and construction contractors.
Part 2: Relationships with Gods
Irish gods are still land specific, but more powerful than I gave them credit for.
I want to clarify a bit of what I wrote in Part 2. When I say that Irish gods are land specific, I am trying to really hit home that our gods are not universal. An Dagda is not Odin, is not Zeus, is not Brahma, is not Itzamna, is not Bondye…just like how An Cailleach Beara is not Papatūānuku, is not Gaia, is not Bhumi, is not Pachamama. Why? Because each of these Beings have their own memories, stories, histories, languages, wants and needs. They are sovereign to Themselves, to Their lands, and to Their people.
A majour function of christonormativity is to universalise and lump. We wouldnt say that Jesus is exactly the same as Yahweh and/or Allāh… no the church has been fighting violently for literal centuries over whose god is the “real” and only god (just in disguise)... when we have always known there are multiple deities, some estimate that there are 8000–12,000+ deities…and these are just the ones we currently know of.
So, how do we as Irish Pagans build relationships with other gods, Irish gods, and also Indigenous gods where we live?
For me, right now, this is a loaded question.
As we know, Gods can and do move around. The TDD moved to Ireland from somewhere else, and we know this because it was preserved in the lore. We also have records of Irish immigrants, in the Americas, having experiences with the Aos Sidhe, spirits, saints and gods. We have story after story of other immigrants to the Americas experiencing their gods here too, and we know how Mary and the Saints and Jesus have gotten Themselves all over the damn globe. We know They can be invoked wherever we may be, but especially in the traditional landscapes and sacred sites special to Them.
Gods are cultural formulae for dealing with our lives and Otherworld lives. But I feel we play a role in Their lives and Otherworld lives as well. Again, like I said before, I feel we spend too much time focusing on our own individualist relationships with Them that we fail to see Their relationships with other people. I might have this all wrong, but I feel that each set of cultural gods only exist in their own dimension within the multiverse. Why? Because we do not have cross-pantheon stories in the lore.
Is this because a manuscript hasnt been translated yet? Is it because those stories have been erased/destroyed due to wars & genocide (cultural and physical)? Is it because of human racism and colorism? That bigoted people cannot stand the thought of living and loving someone so different from themselves, that the idea of our gods co-mingling is just that: unthinkable?
And only unthinkable because of racist/colorist white-washed history — look at what pop culture has done to the Queen of Sheba and Andromeda: both were Ethiopian ((( #BlackIsBeautiful ))).
I want stories about An Dagda and the rest of Themselves meeting with the many many Indigenous gods of Turtle Island. I crave and hope and pray for those stories, and experiences. But just because I want something badly to be true, doesn’t mean it will happen, or has happened. Until proven otherwise, I have to keep thinking what I said before about the gods being in Their own dimensions. (Though Poseidon sending a sea monster to the coasts of Ethiopia is a precedent to look more into). However, and this is a big part of embracing not just simply accepting diversity, this will not stop me from honouring other gods and ungods of my comrades when invited to participate and attend other cultural ceremonial practices. This does not stop me from honouring and respecting Indigenous gods when I meet Them, and They meet me. These are Their traditional lands. There is no ignoring Them. To do so is just plain stupid.
Now, when it comes to multicultural pagans, who intersect multiple cultures & identities, who by their very existence shatter segregationist tendencies and bridge those dimensions into being… in effect willing into being their own memories, and stories, and histories, and languages, and wants, and needs… maybe there is hope. Maybe those dimensions are not as literal and delineated as we perceive them to be. We of course give rise to the next wave of ever-changing culture. Contrary to popular belief, traditions are not static, they can and do change into new traditions and new generations of practices. New lore, and memories, and stories are always in the making…
This is why we need to stop segregating our spiritual communities. If not, friendships between us cannot be formed. Right relationships cannot be maintained. Collaboration is thwarted. Liberation movements cannot succeed against the bourgeoisie. This is why white pagan circles and covens need to actually do the shadow work of antiracism and stop spiritual bypassing. This is why hope has always existed with intersectional people who are activists… and why they have been so feared by oppressors.
Ideas: always remember that you are a guest in Their presence so act accordingly, ask the gods what they want from you and get it in writing, create loopholes for yourself, and remember to always safeguard yourself against Tricksters. Promises are promises, never forget what you promise, because it can come back to bite you in the ass.
Part 3: Relationships with Folk
White exclusive, AKA segregated, pagan groups are still a problem in America.
People are who make stories about the land, gods, and ungods. People are who make the memories, stories, histories, languages, wants and needs that make a people…well, a people. This is why it was impossible to talk about Gods without Their peoples in the previous section.
In Part 3, I said “White supremacy and colonialism is relationship abuse.” And we still have a long way to go. This is why Black and Indigenous groups need safe spaces without white people who have and continue to do harm to them collectively. Do not conflate segregation with safe spaces. Safe Spaces are created out of a necessity for survival and rest and joy. Segregation was created to hide truths, dominate, maintain violence, hatred, subjugation, authoritarianism, colonialism, capitalism, racism, militarism, cisheterosexism, ableism… in one word: to maintain the kyriarchy.
My shared story above is evidence of why there are still too many white men and women in charge of pagan groups in America.
Power dynamics are always important in relationship building and maintenance. This is why I resigned and walked away and is why I have continued to maintain my relationships with Black and Indigenous communities already doing the work — I am collaborating in multiple networks around the country and globe — who have marginalised people in mind from the very beginning. Who welcome me, with understandable boundaries, who teach with me, and who I give back to more than I take or have been given.
Ideas: be a guest and act accordingly, give up parallel monologues, be curious about people, center truth & justice, own your mistakes, make reparations, be open to mediation circles of accountability, go to therapy to unpack your social traumas and to do the work on your interpersonal relationship skills (lots of people go to therapy :for free: to learn how to stop being so fucking mean and bitter — just saying), dont be afraid of the uncomfortable conversation or two, join a support group with others decolonisng their practices, and dont be a racist coloniser who cares more about profits, expansion & conquest than you do about our collective liberation. I hope this all helped.
